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Why was I settling for this way of living my life and letting anxiety become my main point of call? Having lived a very normal life in the countryside, Suddenly I was required to go to meetings in London, meet and work with new people (some of which were celebrities), film videos in front of camera crew (which was a million miles more nerve-wracking than you think having only ever filmed in your bedroom on your own) and suddenly a lot more people were stopping me in the street to say hello and have a photo. Although I never really talked in depth about my anxiety and the rise of my channel at the time, it was something that was extremely challenging to balance.Knowing I could stay at home and not run the risk of a panic attack, or pushing myself because I WANTED TO DO IT.I’m able to recognise where nerves don’t need to escalate into anxiety.
With the help of my therapist, we worked out where the thoughts had been set up.Secondly, my anxiety is talked about sometimes in a more traditional media sense and it’s not always factually accurate and quite outdated so I thought it best to come straight from the horse’s mouth (is that the saying? Back in 2011 I wrote a post here on my blog all about my anxiety and how it affected my life, in the hope that someone else could find reassurance in my words and that in turn, I could take some comfort in what others had to say too.After such an overwhelming response, I decided a year later to bite the bullet and discuss it on my youtube channel, which at the time had around 700,000 subscribers.I hadn’t seen anyone else talking about their experiences with anxiety openly and although it scared me to do it I wanted to help others and to share my experience.At the time, my anxiety had appeared to have been the same since the age of around 14. I knew which things to avoid, I knew which situations would set me off and more than anything, I was aware of the things I was missing out on because of it.