Online dating for people with stds
Let me be very clear: I will never endorse an STI dating site. STI dating services would make great hacking targets in an online landscape where vigilante justice is all the rage and people with STIs are unsympathetic victims (whaddup, Ashley Madison). But here’s the big, huge, important fucking reason I’ll never support a herpes dating service: these products contribute to herpes stigma. A booming app industry in Silicon Valley means that new STI dating services pop up every few months, and a cursory Google search means that their marketing team, or their founder, or their intern, quickly discovers me. As time goes on and stigma lessens, there will be less of a demand for these services. It’s time to talk about herpes dating websites and how much I hate them.These websites enable the self-segregation of the H community in a way that I believe contributes to our invisibility and inertia. Some of these websites claim to empower their customers.I think most people who have had herpes for a few years know this too.The only people who ask me about herpes dating sites have just been diagnosed and are still daunted by the idea of disclosing—a fear I encourage them to tackle instead of pursuing these trap door dating sites.
You cannot say your service fights STI stigma when it relies on stigma to exist.
She wanted me to become a spokesperson, and when I refused, someone higher up in the food chain emailed me again. But then the same thing happened again with another STI dating site, and then another, and another. I don’t think any STI dating service is going to reinvent the wheel and be successful when so many have tried and failed in the past.
One of the first emails I received when I went viral way back in April 2015 was from a woman claiming to work for Positive (I say claiming because she wasn’t using a Positive Singles email address). I don’t want to endorse a product I would never personally use.
STI dating services are a product of the stigma, not an empowering way out of it.
Not to mention that people with herpes are diverse.